cross-posted to http://womenmakenewscom

If quality mothering promotes the healthy development of children, maybe doubling the mothering yields a better result. You might well think so, if you heard the recent news story about a study of lesbian parents. The research got a lot of play, with a simplified synopsis that kids with two moms do better.

Of course, the real story is more complicated--still the study does tell us something about successful childrearing that we kind of know aleady: that children who are wanted and are raised in home with more resources do better than those who are not. Furthermore, there is other interesting research on LGBT families that provides lessons for mixed-sex marriages.

“The National Longitudinal Study of Lesbian Parents” followed families for 17 years, retaining an astounding 93% of the study participants. The teens assessed showed more social, academic and psychological competence than those raised with two-gender parents. They also exhibited less rule-breaking or aggressive behavior. This made for punchy headlines: kids turn out better with lesbian families than straight families.

Clark University professor Abbie Goldberg who is the author of "Lesbian and Gay Parents and their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle" says, “My hunch is that less important than sexual orientation are things like parenting style, parental investment in children, etc. – things that these lesbian parents just happened to score highly upon. Sexual orientation has less to do with how one parents than various other factors like parenting philosophy, parenting skill, motivation to be a parent, financial and social resources, etc.”

The study’s author, Gartrell has noted that that those lesbian families were more likely to be planned, committed to parenting and have sufficient resources to raise children but these very important facts were not discussed in the media coverage. But mothers know this: prepared and supported parents have an easier time.

Furthermore, the study is not exactly national, but was set in a few large progressive urban centers with active LGBT communites. Goldberg said the finding that didn’t get much play was the bad news: “children whose parents reported that they had been teased more reported worse outcomes. This is important and has implications for school practices, bullying protocols, etc.” Children from “non-traditional” families deserve to be accepted and treated as normal--just as same sex-marriages are accepted by many states.

In her own extensive research on lesbian and gay parents, Goldberg has found more equity in parenting: same-sex couples divide housework and childcare more equally. Clearly, tasks can no longer be divided on pure gender lines—there has to be a different way to assign the labor that supports a family. As any mother who does the heavy lifting of parenthood knows, that’s certainly progress. Not only does that model egalitarian values to children, it also probably cuts down on conflict between parents—and gives each mom a bit of a break.