“Aw, man – we have to play GIRLS??”

Without the sun, the temperature quickly dropped to the low 50s. Fans huddled on the sidelines, clutching coffees and supporting their respective teams. Tension filled the air of the leafy suburban town as the final whistle blew on this U10 travel soccer game, a chance to play under the lights on this crisp fall night, just like the pros. The defeated boys threw off their matching headbands and trudged off the field toward the sidelines. They had just lost. To girls.

This game actually happened on Friday night. My daughter’s team beat the boys, and then tied two others. They were the only girls’ team on the schedule that night, our girls bravely taking on the challenge to play more competitive games, with more aggressive boys. Unflinching, our girls threw themselves into the games that night, my daughter proudly displaying scratches all over her thighs later that night. She had been battling a boy who must have been 5’6”. So tall that his shin guards were scraping her thighs. Those scrapes are fading, but the legacy of the game is fresh for her: They walked on to that field and showed them how it’s done. They worked hard and they won.

Clearly, there are many benefits to being involved in sports: High self-esteem, teamwork, focus, determination, goal-setting, and - learning in defeat. The moms of the boys from the defeated team were truly excited to watch our girls play so well. I hope they pass on the message in the moment that they lost not to GIRLS - but to a good team. I hope the legacy of the game for the boys is this: That they played a team that was fearless, tough, and athletic. Who just happened to be girls.

“I’m good for a girl”

My house is filled with 2 daughters, 2 girl cats, and a girl dog. There is no shortage of female empowerment in our family. I frequently get hit in the head with various projectiles, trip over soccer balls and footballs, and get thrown to the floor from behind by my 2 year old. The bookshelves are filled with books on the female brain, the end of men, and the glass ceiling.

And even with all of this – sexism’s messages seep into her brain.  She came home from school and excitedly informed me that they had started to play football in gym and her team won. “I’m the best girl on the team,” she said proudly. “I scored 3 touchdowns, Joe scored 2. We won!” I told her that it sounded like she wasn’t just the best GIRL on her team that day.

If you’re the parent of a “tomboy” you’ve heard these stories from gym class where the girls’ touchdowns are worth 14 points (yes, really) or from the playground where the boys won’t let the girls play because they don’t think they’re good enough (or maybe they’re afraid they WILL be good enough?). It can be hard to get these learning moments in, but our numbers are growing!

Approximately eight million girls in 3rd-12th grades play youth sports.  All of those millions of moments on the playing field. According to the National Coalition of Women and Girls in Education, since the passage of Title IX in 1972, female sports participation has increased by more than 900% and college participation has increased more than 400%. That’s a lot of moments.

I thought of Title IX this weekend and its enduring, quiet legacy on girls, boys, and sexism. Sometimes it seems that we haven’t made much progress. We’re faced with it every day. And with all we talk about the need to pass new legislation, about more women in the boardroom and in the House, women in movies, about Miley Cyrus and Madonna, we can sometimes lose track that worldview begins in the narrow view of childhood. Kids are creatures who live in the now, their brains changing every day. They worry about the next game, the next Rick Riordan book release, the next sleepover. The moment that team of boys lost to a team of girls was something now and something real. A moment they realized that girls can be just as tough. Not because we told them so, but because they experienced it.