We moms do our best to keep our families safe. But in light of recent safety news, I think we're going to go find Saddam Hussein's worm hole and take up residence there.

Not that I have to worry about toxic chemicals leaching out of sippy cups anymore. PunditGirl is way past that stage.

When she was a toddler, I thought I was being a conscientious mom by providing her with chlorinated water, sugar-free fruit juices and organic, low-fat milk. But apparently, there's a good chance all those drinks were contaminated with toxic chemicals that have been linked to diabetes, breast cancer, and a whole host of other diseases I really can't think about right now.

At least the food we're eating isn't contaminated, right?

Unless I'm getting the ground beef directly from my dad's farm, it looks like burgers are off the menu here at Chez PunditMom-- almost 150 million pounds of beef have been recalled today because of possible contamination. I might feel like we had dodged a bullet, except that MSNBC is reporting that the beef from these cows has been in the food chain since February 2006.

Yeah, you heard me -- for TWO YEARS.

Sippy cups and ground beef are two staples of motherhood as we know it. If we can't rely on regulators to demand that plastic manufacturers make sure that synthetic hormones aren't going to leech out of sippy cups after a few times in the dishwasher or that family summertime barbecues won't result in death from E. coli, mad cow, or salmonella poisoning, then what's the point of having them there? May as well close them down and let us keep the tax money that funds them. I bet we'd be getting more back than the much touted stimulus package.

The tainted beef could still be in our freezers. News reports say that 37 million pounds of the potentially tainted beef went to school lunch programs. And we wouldn't know about the potentially deadly meat if not for an undercover video showing cows who were too sick to stand at a California slaughterhouse.

I think I'm going to be sick.

What's next? I know in my gut it's not going to stop there. Maybe it's time to go all Gilligan's Island. At least I know the tropical fruit would be safe.

Or maybe it's time to become an EcoMom?