Having a personal space of my own is as necessary in my life as breathing.

I don’t need to use my personal “me space” everyday, but I like to know that it’s there should I need it. As someone who has always had to cohabitate—first sharing a bedroom with my older sister, then with college roommates, and now my husband—what prevented a head-spinning exorcist moment was my insistence on claiming even just a corner (if sitting in your closet, uggs provide the best cushioning) to myself.

But how do you claim a space for yourself when you have a million things competing for your attention?

Mom and writer Judith Ortiz Cofer shares my obsession with finding a carved out space and schedule for personal time. While she focuses on her writing space, I want to build on Cofer’s discussion in “The Woman Who Slept with One Eye Open” and make two suggestions on how to create your anything “me” place and time.

Stop thinking of your space as a physical room

While we would all love a room of our own with all of our favorite things with a lock, the reality is that many women don’t have that luxury.

Cofer covers this very issue when talking about a writing class she taught to a group of moms. When asked what was their most “pressing artistic problem,” the general consensus was time and place. In response, Cofer assigned them all with the seemingly impossible task of finding a space to write. After one week of trying, all the students where able to find a space of their own—even the single mother with two toddlers who created a “portable office” to use in those rare moments of silence (10).

For me, my space is this chair. Here is where I insist on my me time—whether it’s reading a novel, watching a movie on my phone, or even having a long conversation with a friend. I ignore all other things when I sit here and refuse to ever do work.

But a chair might not be right for you. This is about finding what you can make work for you. Here are some ideas the women in Cofer’s essay came up with and some I know from friends and family who have done the same:

• Kitchen table in the early morning “pre-madness” hours or late at night after everyone is in bed
• Sacrifice part of your closest and put a bean bag chair in there
• The bathtub
• A community room in your apartment building (if they allow you to schedule it, do that so you can be alone)
• Free library study rooms
• The car. Yup. If it’s not too cold or too hot this can be a great space

Be creative. As long as your space has what you need—be that the Netflix app on your phone or a mani pedi kit—it’ll be the perfect space for you.

Find the time—15 minutes is enough!

As Cofer says, use subterfuge if necessary.

I know that when time to sleep seems elusive, finding “free” time feels impossible. It can even breed feelings of guilt (how can I read this novel when I have X million things to do?!?!).

Don’t think of it as free time. Think of it as necessary time to keep you healthy. When you have time to yourself, you are a better parent, partner, worker, friend, and human. I know that when I forgo at least an hour to myself during the week that my temper is shorter and emails start to magically become paragraphs of typos.

Try to find a time that is relatively peaceful. For example, Cofer started by going to sleep at the same time as her daughter and then waking up at 5 am and wrote poetry until everyone woke up.

The time can also flex and change. Maybe your alone time is 15 minutes every morning or a full hour while your kids are at a pre-scheduled activity. Whatever you decide, just try to make it a weekly habit. Again, your alone time doesn’t need to happen everyday, nor will it. But having your disclosed location and timeframe will help you ensure that having time to yourself is a priority.

Already have your own space and schedule for solo time? Tell us how you carved out that space in the comments below!